Finding Comfort in the Midst of Discomfort

by Kaydene Green

Whatever makes you uncomfortable is your biggest opportunity for growth
– Bryant McGill

Last November, I opened my home to Mickey and Malarkey, my two adopted domestic short hair tabby male cats. Try not to get hung up on the names, I had no participation in that decision and I was too lazy to think of new ones. Furthermore, I thought the already assigned names were perfect as is. A mantra I live by is to not fix what isn’t broken.

The kittens, alongside their lactating mother, were dumped into the bushes along a road in a plastic tote. Thankfully they were found by a good Samaritan. I am not going to advocate for a universal love for cats. I know they can be a handful and may display unfavorable behavioral patterns, but I would suggest that the humane thing to do, if they are unwanted, is to take them to a nearby animal shelter where they can receive the proper care until they are placed into a forever home.

At the time I heard about this discovery, I was not mentally prepared to own cats. I considered my dwelling space to be too small for such free spirited animals, but the dilemma had prematurely tugged on my heart strings and I could not find the breath to say no.

The kittens, at the time, were obviously traumatized and I was told it took quite an immeasurable amount of effort to rescue them. Once they were introduced to their new home, a few months after being rescued and getting back to good health, they spent hours in hiding before they realized this unfamiliar territory was going to become their new place of sustenance and safety. I know I’m probably about to lose the people who don’t like cats right now, but I urge you stick this out with me.

Mickey (and Malarkey) preparing to go to the vet

This past week they were both due for their annual wellness examination and booster vaccinations. Unfortunately, Mickey was the only one of the two that made it to his appointment. Malarkey, upon realizing that I was fixing to put him in the small carrier, made quite the scene and refused to endure that kind of discomfort. The outcome of course is that he would have missed a very important appointment. Mickey, on the other hand, unknowingly, cooperated well but like any cat would, became very vocal about his discomfort the moment I set him in the carrier, in the back seat of my car.

A miserable Mickey, waiting to be seen by the vet

Mickey stuck with me on that car ride through the discomfort. He was audibly uncomfortable and like most cats, did not like that he was confined to a carrier in the backseat of the car not knowing how this journey was going to end. The sole purpose of Mickey’s discomfort was to get him from his home to the vet to give him the necessary medical attention he needs as he gets older for a healthier happier adult life. Mickey’s pain was for a good reason, if only he understood this.

When it Rains

Photo by Fabiano Rodrigues on Pexels.com

Like Mickey being in the dark about my plans to take him on a mentally uncomfortable car ride to the vet that day, I too am never ready for a misfortune to land at my doorstep. If I had it my way, I’d never want any if it and would probably set up a system of detection to warn me of the impending doom to allow me enough of a heads-up to do everything within my human capabilities to avoid it.

Misfortunes are uncomfortable and disrupts my smooth predictable routine. I’ve never seen anything more inconvenient than a problem I did not see coming let alone when they set up residence in my life. I’m not one for a surprise that I am not ready for, unless of course it’s one that would make me happy and misfortunes did not make the list. Depending on our worldviews, what may be a big problem to me may be small to you and vice versa. “When it rains it pours“, are words I grew up hearing and ones I’ve found myself repeating in my own series of discomforts.

I complain every time something throws me a curve ball. But why do we do that? To share the burden? It’s even more frustrating when others do not have the right words to appease us or are just incapable of expressing the empathy and sympathy we so desire. Perhaps you can relate to this. Maybe right now, you are in one of your hardest battles of your life and no-one probably knows about it. One after the other, problem after problem, struggle after struggle. Does it ever end? Can I catch a break?

Things aren’t necessarily happening to us but for us

My outlook on struggles changed drastically and for the better not long ago. To say the least, I found myself in quite an uncomfortable situation and it was not the kind I could (easily) run from. I had always been extremely crafty at figuring out how to escape discomfort. I lacked the ability to challenge myself let alone to accept the challenge. Somewhere along my life’s journey I adopted the culture of getting away from a problem, never to embrace it with outstretched hands. Who does that anyway? This time however was different. It was time for me to grow into next season and this was my catalyst. The light bulb had finally been switched on and I soon realized that in order for me to grow mentally, spiritually, emotionally, amongst many of the other “allys” that you could think of, I had to sit in the seat of discomfort and buckle up for the ride.

The Story of Job

If there is any story that has given me a renewed perspective on trials it is the story of Job. You may or may not be familiar. In the biblical era, the norm was to interpret misfortunes as punishment for doing something wrong. Many people still feel that way today. If you were facing trials of any kind, it was an automatic belief that you were a victim of God’s wrath. Job was exceptionally faithful to God and most certainly did not “deserve” misfortunes. His love and trust for God was probably more than that of my own if I am going to be honest. He was blessed in all areas of his life beyond measure but his comfortable life got turned up-side-down and he ultimately lost everything, except for his life of course. Feel free to fact check me and to dive deeper into the story in the book of Job.

I cannot imagine that he endured this with a smile on his face at any level of loss he experienced. The mind-blowing realization was that it got worst at every level of his circumstance. He never saw it coming and I would say it qualified him to have gone into depression and ultimately to have thrown in the towel and lost all faith. Job commendably endured and ended with more than he had to begin with. The process had only served to strengthen Job’s faith and trust in God and to show mankind that they should never rely entirely on human wisdom in tough times.

Lessons from Nature

A caterpillar must undergo metamorphis in order to become a butterfly
A mother must endure the pain of labor and delivery to bring forth a new life
Diamonds are formed within the earth’s surface under conditions of heat temperature and pressure
A seed will never grow into a tree without the right amount of sunlight, water, air and temperature.

You get the idea right? So it is with nature so it is with us, we grow under certain conditions and it is usually in discomfort.

This is not to encourage you to sit in an uncomfortable harmful situation that you need to get out of. There are things within our control and for those things I believe we should take the necessary steps to flee. Even then, use wisdom. What I am mainly referring to are those unsolicited moments that we can do nothing about that we have to allow time to remove. I’ve learned to grumble less in misery and to seek divine and deeper meaning to gain a higher perspective than that of my own.

If you have thoughts on this topic, please comment below. I’d love to hear your story and how you used those challenging moments for your greater good. Until next time, be encouraged and have a blessed week.

James 1:2-4 NIV – “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perserverance finish it’s work so that you may mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Last updated: December 1, 2021

November 20, 2021

November 20, 2021 4

Buying a Home While Having Debt – A Bank’s Perspective

Written by: Kaydene Green

Sooner than later, one may find themself facing the inevitable reality of pursuing the possibility of owning a home. It is an achievement and one that is the hallmark of hard work, dedication and success. Whether a home is purchased by one or multiple individuals, big or small, it is yours and there is no better feeling. For some, renting is paying someone else’s mortgage and a complete waste of your hard earned money. In some cases this may be true. What they are unaware of is the unique financial situation of the individual renting. It is easy to encourage the purchase of a home, but it is hard to steer people in the right direction who have already acquired quite a bit of debt.

The problem is, owning a home only becomes a thought, for many like myself, well after there has been an accumulation of debt. The average American has $90, 460 in debt (Source). The average cost of a home according to zillow is $308,220. and the average monthly mortgage payment for US homeowners is $1487 (Source). This is not common knowledge nor explained ahead of time and while making those thoughtless financial mistakes.

There are many people who have not considered buying a home because of debt and have not thought it necessary to even find out how. It is said that ignorance is expensive and I am definitely paying the price to say the least. I’ve done some homework to learn a few things to start looking into before attempting to apply for a home loan.

Ground Rule

Debt-to-Income ratio (DTI) is the primary consideration in the qualification of a home loan. A low DTI demonstrates a good balance between debt and income. Simply put. If you can keep your debt low or nonexistent it will become a home buying dream, if you plan on purchasing a home in the future of course

I took some time to stop by my local Credit Unions to speak with the home loans officers to gain an understanding of things to consider, while having debt, before buying a home. May I add these bank associates were extremely helpful. As I already knew for my own personal situation, I had to rearrange a few things on my financial record in order to maximize my home buying experience. I wanted to go in a bit more detail to find out exactly what areas to target and how were the best ways in doing so. If you are in debt and would like to be able to afford a home, eventually, here were a few things to consider in advance.

1. Get a free (detailed) credit check with AnnualCreditReport.com

If you are like me you may receive monthly credit score updates from credit check apps like mint. Unfortunately, according to CD Thornton, one of my credit union’s mortgage advisors, there may be hidden occurrences on your credit that you may be unaware of that could poke it’s ugly head out once you are ready to buy a home. Things like unknown outstanding medical bills or even something as simple as not returning your cable box can be seen on your credit history and may be used against you. I guess it may be time for me to return my cable box 🙂

2. Student Loans

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

1% of your student loan balance is counted towards your debt when buying a home (TD Thornton). If you are not actively paying the income driven repayment plan. It is a good idea to make sure that you are actively paying off the balance with an Income Driven Repayment Plan to provide a set monthly student loan expense. This can be calculated as much less of an expense as opposed to the 1% consideration. This makes a tremendous difference when qualifying for a mortgage. Remember, the less you have to pay in bills monthly, the more mortgage you will be qualified for.

3. Move Credit Cards to Personal Loan

D. Pullara, relationship officer at my local credit union suggests one way to improve my credit just before applying for a home loan is to move my credit card balances to a personal loan. This should boost my credit score and allow me to pay a smaller interest rate and make smaller monthly payments. The goal is to keep my monthly expenses low. Personally, I am not quite comfortable with debt consolidation and would prefer to continue applying the snowball effect to my credit card debts but this was an honorable mention in the event you need to know how credit score can be boosted just before applying for a home loan.

4. Refinance Car for Longest Term

The goal is to receive lowest payment. A car loan can be refinanced, just like a personal loan on credit cards, to provide a lower monthly payment. When the loan is in the home stretch of ten months, the car loan does not count towards debt (D Pullara).

4. Save for Down Payment and Closing Cost

Though many may be quailified for a grant to aide in the down payment of a loan, many will not be able to be qualified and will have to find the money otherwise. Down payments can be 6-8% of purchase price. Dey, a member relationship officer from another of my Credit Unions says one mistake many people make when considering buying a home is forgetting about all the additional fees.

5. Consider The Climate of the Home Buying Market

It is November 2021 and we are in a sellers market. In my interpretation of this, it is harder for the buyer to negotiate and will more than likely have to be ready to make an impressive offer. My deduction, take a little more time to get ready than to force the situation when funds are low.

To Close

Full disclosure: This is not financial advise but merely things to consider based on my own personal situation. Please consult your bank to get an evaluation based on your unique financial situation.

Before we see other’s inability in pursuing the purchase of a home as pointless, it may be good to understand that many people are correcting some of the mistakes that have been made in the past and will need time to rearrange their priorities. Rushing someone into purchasing a home can be a vulnerable situation and instead, encouraging persons to address their financial woes first would be a more pleasant experience.

Last Updated: November 19, 2021

November 17, 2021 2

Pit of Expectations

“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be”
– Mandy Hale

My Experience with Expectations

At a very early age I learned to expect from others. I relied heavily on parents and other relatives for my basic needs to be provided and ultimately my dependence converted into a habitual expectation to receive. As the years progressed, the magnitude of my expectations only grew more and at a rapid rate like a pesky vine of weed on flourishing vegetation. Inversely, as my expectations grew, so did my confidence in people. Ironically, that did not deter my desire to expect from the people around me both near and far. If there was an academy award with the category of “Most expectations had by an individual“, I probably would have taken home the trophy every single time or at the very least, I would have been amongst the category’s top contenders. Consciously and subconsciously, I created a list of all shapes and sizes of expectations to have of the personal and professional relationships I’d developed over time. I dare to say you can agree that having expectations is a very natural human behavior as you may also have expectations of the people in your life and them of you.

At no point did I ever expect to turn the key in my car’s ignition for it not to start, I never expect to turn the tap on and not see clear running water flow from the faucet, I never expect to bite into an apple to get the taste of mango and I never expect that my sent messages would be left on ‘read’ for longer than the time it should take to respond. I had built the foundation of my happiness on expectations even though I knew there was always the potential to be disappointed. I had fallen into the “pit of expectations” very early without understanding how and under what conditions to expect.

In my defense, met expectations were how I measured the quality of the relationships I’ve acquired. If I cannot call on a friend in times of need then what is the purpose of that friend? The problem I discovered with this state of mind was that I found myself being disappointed and very disgruntled almost as numerous as the breaths I took which too often shaped the outcomes of my mood and views on people. I had also never remembered in those moments that “it is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). I was particularly triggered by one specific unmet expectation that propelled me into the conversation of expectations.

Views On Expectations

To expand the horizon of my understanding on expectations, I took to the “streets” to gain feedback from a few of my friends in an effort to collect their input on the topic. To maintain their privacy, I have kept their identity hidden. The conversation went as follows:

Me: Do you think we should have expectations of others?

Person 1: “No. Well, very little. I expect people to look out for themselves. I do however have a simple expectation of my girlfriend that she will love and respect me and if she does not anymore that she will tell me. Oh, and I expect that if you make jerk chicken that you bring me some.”

Person 2: “We all have some expectations, and to say otherwise isn’t realistic. I mean, wouldn’t we expect in relationships to be loved and treated with respect? so even though that is the most basic thing, to me, it’s still an expectation. As far as others expectations, I think if certain expectations have been discussed as far as who does what, then its ok, but even so, we need to show grace, because if there’s one things we can expect from other humans, its that they’ll let us down at one point or another. No one is perfect. Too often we place unrealistic expectations on other humans to make us happy, it’s setting them up for failure.”

Person 2’s brother’s father-in-law: “Accept or don’t accept, but don’t expect. You can’t expect people to be like you because they don’t think like you.”

Person 3: “Friends, No. It’s a choice from both parties to be friends. What they choose to do is up to them based on what is best for them first. You may ask or offer if you prefer but it’s up to them and you can decide how to continue the friendship depending on each other’s actions. Family (immediate family – parents, children and partners like a spouse or any committed relationship), yes. Here is why. You should want the best for people in these categories and hence need to have some expectations and need to be willing to help the individual meet them if they can’t do it on their own. As a father and husband, I am expected to ensuring that my family is safe and taken care of. If I become ill, I expect my family to take care of me. The level of expectations depend on the people involved.”

So how should I approach expectations?

After I was done complaining about how disappointed I had felt due to an unmet expectation, I was asked the question; “So what expectations do you have of yourself?” I did not know how to answer this as I had never sat and thought about it until that particular day. The truth is, my narrow focus was always on how others made me feel by not meeting my expectations. It occurred to me in that moment that my perspective was rather distorted. In the many moments of disappointments due to unmet expectations, instead of deleting people’s subscription from my life, it was a time for me to reevaluate not only my own expectations of others but more importantly that of myself. It was a moment to take an inventory of how much I was meeting the expectations I had set for myself and to also give myself the opportunity to reflect and redirect where I was placing my joy. Incase you have not noticed or have somehow forgotten, please let me kindly remind you that human nature is very flawed. This is actually a note to self. In the heat of focusing on the disappointments, I was missing the opportunities to search within .

Lessons From Unmet Expectations

If I were to define the need for my relationships on unmet expectations, I would be doing life alone and in solitude, forever. Regardless of how self-sufficient I set out to be, I understand the value in community. On the flip side, it is not a bad idea either to evaluate my relationships to ensure I am surrounding myself with people who, while not perfect, will add some amount of value to my journey. Here are some choices I’ve made on how to handle and adjust my idea of expectations:

Set expectations for myself only and hold myself accountable – the only human’s behavior I can control (to an extent) is that of my own. I will forever be unhappy if the roots of my joy is planted in how others should treat me.
Understand who people are and expect accordingly – simply put, if someone shows me who they are, that is what I will believe and expect of them, unless of course they are pretending. Until other character traits are revealed, I will not expect them to be anything other than what they show me to be.
Give grace to others – None of us are perfect. I too will not meet the expectations of others so I must choose my battles carefully and in the way I would like to be treated.
Place all my hope in God and not mankind – There are some needs that human beings will never fulfil. This is where I believe a higher being has to intervene. Psalms 118:8 reminds us that “it is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.”

Conclusion

I am not an expert on how to perfectly approach expectations. I do believe there are healthy and realistic expectations to have of the people in our lives depending on who they are to us but more important is the expectations we set for ourselves. It is still an area of struggle for me but there is no better time to be curious about a concept than when it has become our reality. If you have dealt with the struggles of unmet expectations and have great insight on the right approaches on the topic, please leave your feedback and comments below. I would love to hear from you. Until we meet again, have a blessed week.

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Last updated: November 12, 2021

November 13, 2021 8

Live Blog – Lessons From Squirrels

In my 21 years of living in Jamaica, I had never seen a single squirrel until I migrated to the United States. When I laid eyes on what looked like little fluffy tailed rats, I thought they were cute and cuddly looking as though they were suited to be pets. I lacked the understanding of the hidden nature of squirrels so today I will intentionally be taking the opportunity to spend time with nature to observe the behavior of these mysterious nut eating creatures. There are so many hidden gems of perspectives we can gain from squirrels on just about how, we as human beings, can approach our every day encounters. Here is an account of my time spent observing the squirrels:

11:35am – walked around the oak trees on my complex to locate any squirrels

11:40am – spotted two squirrels hanging out on thick branches of a tree. They detected my presence so curiously they paused to observe me.

11:45am – the squirrels had clear suspicions about my presence so they ascended to higher branches where I could not see them anymore.

11:50am – waited and wandered around to see if they would reappear but they never did so I decided to change my location.

11:53am – spotted a new squirrel that was on the ground standing on it’s two back legs and chewing at something it was holding in it’s front legs. I tried to be very careful approaching it as I realized they are very careful with unknown presence.

11:55am – squirrels had gone to hide not just from me but due to the weather changes as it appeared that it was about to rain.

Did You know…

Squirrels are one of the most important animals for helping the spread of oak trees. They store acorns in the ground but only recover around 70 per cent of them, allowing the forgotten acorns to grow into healthy trees. Source

Squirrels wiggle their tails not because they are happy but because they are upset. Source

Squirrels are food gatherers. They spend most of their time gathering and storing food. Source

Life Lessons I’ve gathered from Squirrels

Never place all your eggs in one basket – this is a tale as old as time. It’s one lesson that many wise investors use to prevent loss of assets.
Planted seeds may bare fruits not just for my own interests but for others as well – sometimes our efforts, whether or not for selfish reasons, can grow into blessings for known and unknown people. Never be afraid to plant good seeds.
Be mindful of your surroundings – its good to be observant and be aware of what happens around us.
Stay curious – how else do you make discoveries?

Videographed by kaydenegreen

So God created the great sea creatures and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.
– Genesis 1:21

Last updated: November 13, 2021

November 13, 2021 0

Person in the Mirror

One morning, just like every week day morning, at the sound the cellphone alarm I woke up, reached for my phone, rubbed my eyes and dragged my weary body out of bed. I went straight to the kitchen, as I always do, and made myself a hot cup of coffee. Once I was done draining the cup of the last drop, I went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. As I shut the bathroom door behind me, I looked in the mirror, looked away, and then did a double take. With a puzzled facial expression I leaned in towards the mirror to take a closer look at myself only to realize that the sclera of my eyes were pinkish red in color.

Instantly I became crippled with fear. With accelerated heart rate I tried to think hard and fast about my options and remembered I had some eye drops which I proceeded to administer the recommended amount into each eye. I ran to the mirror every 2 minutes after the application to see if my eyes had improved any and thankfully, over the course of thirty minutes to an hour, they began to look normal again. Whew! That was scary! I thought. But then I wondered, what could have caused that? I reflected on all that I had done that morning and remembered that I had rubbed my eyes with my fingers as soon as I woke up and had experienced a slight burning sensation but did not think much of it. This was not the first time I had done this but unknowingly, I was introducing allergens into my eyes and it finally caught up with me that particular morning. If I had no mirrors in my apartment, I could have easily stepped out without knowing the irritable effects rubbing my eyes with my fingers as soon as I woke up, was having on me and would not have had the opportunity to apply a solution to adjust the effects of the problem.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

A mirror serves as a useful resource for receiving information about our external details, which can be quite resourceful in making the necessary adjustments in becoming more presentable to self and to others. But what about the internal aspects that a literal mirror cannot detect? During this time I was still working on my Interpersonal Communications class when I was given the assignment to do some self-reflection. Not only was I to do this exercise on my own, but I was to also seek out someone with whom I trusted to give me their honest take on who they saw me to be.

Besides the day to day revelation of what brought me joy and what annoyed every cell of my being, I’d never considered the value in asking anyone, even my closest friends, to be my self-reflective mirror and to tell me what they thought about me as an individual. This was not the easiest question to ask no matter how comfortable I was with someone possibly because of pride. I’ve always seen myself as someone who made conscious efforts to do the right thing and any opinion that was not parallel to this was to be thrown out. At least that was what I believed for a long time.

Task at Hand

So for the sake of getting the assignment done, I chose one person that I spent much of my time with during the week and decided to ask for their feedback in how they perceived me. I also made sure that I was ready for what I was about to hear. Posing the question made them uncomfortable which ultimately made me uncomfortable. Due to their concern about the possibility of a damaged friendship, I reassured them that this was very important for my self-development and I am fully vested in receiving the feedback no matter what it was going to be. In other words, I needed them to be my self-reflective mirror. As they got more comfortable with the idea, I received careful and honest feedback. Upon reflecting on their responses, I had come to the harsh realization that one of the blind spot in my personality is that I am not inclined to giving people the benefit of the doubt for falling short. This is not to say that being naïve and ignoring the negative behavioral patterns of others are a good idea either. Both can be equally as destructive. My problem however was that as soon as the action of someone rubbed me wrong, I had already served on a silver platter all the negatives I could think of about how they felt about me and the kind of person they must be. It did not come naturally to me to put myself in the person’s shoe to think of all the explainable and excusable reasons why they had to “disappoint me”. Something about my past experiences and possibly cultural upbringing had wired me to think the worst of people first. Coming to this understanding has allowed me to find one loop hole so far in my perspective of situations and of people.

When I look in mirrors, my view is limited no matter the angle and dimension of the mirror. So it is with seeing all my innate qualities. People experience me differently than I experience myself. While feedback may not necessarily be actual facts about what my identity is, as I believe they are grounded in who God says I am, I now have a clear understanding of how others may decode some parts of who I present myself to be that are completely blind to me. More importantly, this opportunity has bulldozed me into becoming better at perceiving things in new and insightful ways and being open to receiving feedback rather than being defensive. While I believe I have convictions about some of the things I’ve done incorrectly and some people will try to be fault finders no matter how outstanding my efforts may be, allowing myself a fair opportunity to evaluate and self-reflect is critically important in gaining an understanding of who I am and how I am relating to others. It is here, in my humble opinion, that a next level perspective which is the theme of my blogs, begins.

“People who have had little self-reflection live life in a huge reality blind spot”
– Bryant McGill

When we become aware of who we are, strengths and weaknesses alike, we are better positioned in understanding our own perceptions and even that of others. We are unique individuals and are made up of our culture, experiences, upbringing amongst so many other different factors. In order to adjust my vantage point, I had to become willing to not necessarily change who I am as an individual, unless of course it is for the best, but I had to allow myself the opportunity to see through the reflective eyes of others and to spend more time reflecting on my own personality which, let’s be honest, is a lifelong journey.

I challenge you today to make a list of things you see yourself to be. Here are a few questions you can possibly use to guide your self-reflection:

What are your strongest qualities?
How have you capitalized on these qualities?
What do you believe are your weakest qualities?
How will you work to improve on these qualities?
How do you believe others perceive you?
Have you had disagreements with anyone lately?
What have you learned from these disagreements?

Then think of someone you can trust to give you honest feedback about how they perceive you. This is not a comprehensive list of questions as there are so many others that can encourage and guide your self-reflection. My goal is to encourage you, as was done for me, to take some time to reflect and to learn about who you are. In getting to understand your unique make up, you may become more aware of how you perceive things. We will come across many different situations, but I do find that an understanding of who we are will help navigate how we handle those moments and the potential outcomes. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic so please leave your feedback and comments below. See you guys in the next blog post. Have a blessed week!

Last updated: November 6, 2021

October 30, 2021 1

Perspectives

KAYDENE GREEN / OCTOBER 23, 2021

Perspective – “the interrelation in which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed”

Perspective Backpack

Photo by Sharefaith on Pexels.com

We all have an invisible backpack.

As we walk our unique paths through life, we take something from every stage and every encounter and tuck it into that backpack.

Whether positive or negative, little by little we fill our backpacks up with the contents we’ve picked up on our way.

We continue to take this backpack with us day after day, year after year, and unknowingly, the contents in the bag ultimately shape the perceptions of our experiences.

What Shapes Our Perspectives?

Factors like cultural affiliation, family distinctive, and religious beliefs (amongst many others) possess the ability to shape our view on life, the situations we face, ourselves, and the people we encounter.

Standing only on our limited personal ideas and worldviews without making room for new insights may pose relational challenges because of our limited vantage point.

You may agree with me when I say that life is filled with provocations and problems and not all have quick fixes or easy solutions. Some of these unfavorable circumstances may leave remnants of trauma, that if not addressed properly, could leave our attitudes stale and our progress stagnant.

One pastor I’ve spent much time listening to, who has produced a plethora of content on the right mindset once said, “Right thinking can enable you, and wrong thinking can disable you“.

I’ve made quite a few mistakes in most of my adult life on how to positively see worldviews and behavior patterns that were not my own.

In retrospect, I now see where much of my narrow ideologies attributed to a great deal of my own negative spiral of events.

I’ve made great progress since, but there is still so much more to learn as new and unforeseen events will arise.

Together, with my own personal revelations and that of others, we will explore in detail the things that shape our own unique perspectives as well as learn the blind spots in the ways we view many topics.

When we adjust our perspective, we give ourselves a chance to dive into new and exciting ways of perceiving misfortunes and everyday topics and the valuable lessons we can gain by adjusting our focal point.

I am excited that you are on this journey with me to live elevated and develop a next-level perspective.

For a biblical perspective on this topic, I encourage you to read day 5 of the i-factor devotional in the YouVersion bible app.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”
– Romans 12:2a NIV

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Last updated: June 21, 2023

Author: Kaydene